Why Style Can Shape a Soul
By Kimberly Inskeep
Fifty years ago, I received my first Seventeen magazine. Farrah Fawcett was on the cover. I remember staring at her feathered hair and wanting exactly that look. A few years later, it was Brooke Shields’s long hair and full eyebrows that set the standard for me.
I was 16 or 17 years old at the time.
Today, that same identity-shaping process, the one we used to associate with later adolescence, is beginning much earlier. Research now shows that girls as young as 7 or 8 are already asking, “Who am I? Where do I fit? What does ‘beautiful, successful, valued’ look like?’”
And instead of flipping through magazines, they’re scrolling TikTok. They’re watching YouTube. They’re shopping brands and following influencers whose aesthetics, personas, and postures get celebrated—and trusted as much as or more than their own families. These “icons” form a menu of options, and our daughters, still in elementary school, are choosing from this menu.
This is what researchers call “age compression”, the push for kids to “grow up” faster than their development can support. With tweens girls absorbing teen fashion and social behaviors earlier than ever, this formative time becomes a kind of ticking timebomb. By early elementary school, girls already care about doing what it takes to “belong”. They’re concerned about body image. They feel the pressure to be “cool”. And that pressure has a cost.
Developmental psychologists and pediatricians have long warned about the risks of premature exposure to adult beauty and sexual norms. The outcomes have been well-documented:
- Lower self-esteem
- Increased anxiety
- Disordered eating
- Impaired cognitive performance.
When dress, appearance, and popularity race ahead of emotional maturity, it creates performance pressure girls aren’t equipped to manage yet. And when media and market forces dominate everything around us, that pressure feels relentless.
But here’s what gives me hope: This isn’t inevitable. And it isn’t irreversible. While the system is loud, it’s not unstoppable.
We don’t have to leave a girl’s formation solely to schools, brands, and social media. The tween years are still full of influence, especially from moms and other trusted adults. In fact, the research is clear:
- Much of the research indicates the during the preteen years — roughly ages 7-11, girls’ sense of what’s stylish, beautiful, or valuable is still primarily shaped by what their mom (or another admired woman) models and affirms.
- From ages 12 -18, peer approval becomes a dominant force. But even then, if values and self-worth were celebrated and modeled well during the preteen years, those truths often reemerge when conflict, pressure, or confusion arise.
That’s why what we do now matters. It’s not about trying to fix girls, it’s about fixing the system around them. One way to do that is by filling their formative years with inputs that better reflect what’s actually valuable and important about them.
The Role of Style and Foxtale in Her Formation
Fashion may seem like a surface-level topic, but for girls it’s often the first arena where self-expression is taken for a test drive. And when adults are present in the process, style becomes a space for formation.
- It’s a creative tool for identity exploration
- It’s where she learns to balance belonging and individuality
- It invites conversations about fabrics, color, ethics, and self-worth
- It becomes a shared experience between parent and child
- And it offers a gentle way to distinguish between style and beauty, grounding her value in who she is, not how she looks.
At Foxtale, we’re not just making clothes. We’re building a story-rich ecosystem that supports girls ages 6-13, and the adults who love them, in this vital phase of life. From the clothes we design, to the books we publish, to the gatherings we hold, everything is grounded in one conviction: When a girl feels seen, capable, expressive, and confident in her story, she’s more likely to become a healthy and happy teenager and woman. And we believe that happens in a like-minded community.
Whether you become a Stylist, host an in-home Style Sesh, or become an IMPRINT partner, you’re doing more than selling clothes; you’re creating experiences that help girls feel seen, capable, expressive and confident in their story.
Picture this: Your living room full of girls trying on jeans and dresses, giggling with friends, giving each other compliments, asking, “Does this tell my story?” and caring adults standing nearby, smiling, knowing that every outfit is age-right, well-made, and designed with intention. That’s what we call a Style Sesh.
Having helped create a shopping model like this in my past life with cabi, I know firsthand that this kind of gathering creates something lasting. It’s not just about a new outfit. It’s about the inner confidence that blooms when someone feels seen, heard, and delighted in.
Whether you’re shopping online with your daughter, creating a style closet together, hosting a Style Sesh, or stepping into the oh-so-meaningful role of Foxtale Stylist, you are part of something bigger. You’re helping form generation of girls who will walk into their teen years equipped to hold heads high and hearts intact.
